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Hello! My name is Andrea Godoy Triana I am a born and raised U.S. citizen burnt whole family is from Colombia where I've been currently living for the past 5 years. I am 29 years old (turning 30 in April! 😖😅) and I have been teaching English in all of the places you could think of for the past 5 years as well. Growing up as Latina woman in South Florida (Weston to be exact) I was always reminded that my body was imperfect (I have been 5ft.9 since I was 15 and always had very thick hips but not the butt nor the boobies nor the curves to compensate it) I was an extremely late bloomer, physically developing almost at the age of 17 where yes I got boobies and some butt but I was still reminded constantly by friends, families and especially boys that I resembled that of a 'refrigerator' with no waist line to accentuate my figure. I would hear very often "Wow what a shame, you have such a pretty face like a 9/10 but your body is a 3/10 and that hit me so extremely hard that I started sleeping every night with the tightest belt I could find around my waist line and fastening it so tight that I caused my skin to peel and had a permanent mark around my waist for years until I got it treated with laser. I like many girls started obsessing over food and I would literally taste the things I loved, put them in my mouth and then spit it out so I would get the benefit of the taste but not the guilt of the calories. I taught myself how to vomit with my toothbrush whenever I felt guilty (which was way too often) and would have extreme anxiety to leave my house for school. I wouldn't say I was extremely bullied but I was always reaffirmed that there was "something wrong with me" (during the time I turned 15, my diagnosed OCD hit rock bottom and it attacked my physical appearance or better known as body dysmorphobia and it got to the point where I went to college I couldn't leave my dorm room to go to classes because it would take.me hours upon hours upon hours to get ready and feel 'perfect' and when aí was finally able to leave my dorm out of necessity (like not being able to starve myself any longer) I would be struck with social anxiety that everyone around me could somehow read my mind and tell just by looking at me that there was something wrong with me. It got so bad that I eventually dropped out of college and went back to live with my parents. This was my life for the following almost 13 years going to all the best psychiatrists, psychologists, healing workers, yoga masters I even got several exorcisms done because I truly believed there was something wrong with me and that God was punishing me somehow with all of these mental afflictions. It wasn't until about 5 years ago that I truly started healing my past traumas with my dad (he was extremely cold and rigid with my older sister and I growing up and I never felt like I was good enough for him to love me this stemmed an urgency and codependency with all of the men in my life up to that point feeling like I needed to win their love over and be absolutely perfect for them to love me and that way feel validated that I was actually worthy of love. As you are expecting that only made things worse for me because I would attract guys that would feed off of my insecurities and end up leaving me because of my extreme codependency. So what 5 years ago I started working with my now psychiatrist in childhood wounds that I had completely forgotten about. The more I worked on them the more they started becoming conscious and the more things started to connect and make sense. I can proudly say now at almost 30 years of age I am truly happy for everything that I have had to go through (depression, anxiety, OCD, suicidal thoughts, abuses) because if it weren't for that I wouldn't have this extreme conviction of wanting to help others that have been in that literal hell for years and I want to be a living testimony that even the most severe cases are worthy of saving and not only that but will have the biggest testimony once healed.
I absolutely love everything it stands for! It is no secret that the fashion industry has distorted our beauty standards as a society that has become ill ridden and sickly obsessed with being "skinny" and now with all of the filters, and face tune apps our generation and the following ones to come are so self conscious of the way they can manipulate their physical appearance so they can fit the mold of what they see on social media which has been proven over and over again that not even those "'perfect' people look like that in real life. We're more obsessed with the image we create online than actually working on ourselves because it is so much easier to create a false idealistic version of yourself than actually doing all the hard work of self healing I include myself in this tendency. So everything that has to do with celebrating yourself as you are, perfectly imperfect, beautiful you makes me want to shout to the world that I am happy with who I am now and eve though I know I have so many more things to work on I am so grateful for the journey with its good bad and absolutely paralyzing to get to where I am now because I know that none of this happened in vain and that there is bigger purpose than myself as to why I have gone through what I've lived.
I believe I would be a great role model because I come as I am. For many years I was desperately trying to perfect this facade and mask of who I thought I needed to be that it got to the point where I completely and utterly lost myself and my essence. It took literally contemplating suicide looking down from my 8th floor apartment wishing for all of my suffering to end to completely tear me down and become my most vulnerable self and destroy that self made facade to start working on the real Andrea. To start taking responsibility for victimizing myself for so many years and creating that miserable reality that I blamed others for and when I realized it was all iny power only then was I able to look in the mirror accept myself for who I truly was and be willing no matter how much it hurt to bring up painful memories until they no longer hurt. Because of all of this trajectory that has been my life up to now I passionately want to represent what it's like to feel like the most unworthy being of living to living a life of self-compassion, prosperity and inner transformation. I feel the need to help those in pain and who feel completely stuck to be that testimony and to be able to completely empathize with them because I have lived it for so many years in my own flesh that I know what it's like to feel completely unworthy and like nobody in the world can truly understand you and empathize with you. I want to be that light, I want to be that example that truly anything is possible if you believe it is and when you see people like yourself being represented in the media that only ignites that much more hope that times are changing for the better. Thank you.