Hi there beautiful people! I'm a creative busy bee from the Netherlands, a singer, rapper, actress, visionary artist and I coach juveniles and kids from all walks of life, using music and creativity to motivate and inspire them with self created methods. I'm grateful for doing what I love in life and touching people through creativity. Believing in myself and folwing my heart and passion helped me to overcome the rollercoaster (Sixflags got nothing on me) that I've been through in my life. To sum a few things up..I Dealt with Anxiety disorder my whole life and used to be ashamed of it because I thought something was wrong with me. My dad (later on we found out) he was manic depressed, which had a massive effect on our family and our wellbeing. I grew up as a first generation born and raised in the Netherlands of a group work emigrants from Morocco that where brought to the Netherlands to do the hard labor. I've always had to prove myself, at school as a minority I was told I wasn't good enough. The pressure was high proving myself to the outside world and the pressure at home to be better, we couldn't afford to fail dad would say, in order to prove those wrong that criticized me for my background. As a child I had to go through so many unfortuned scenarios dealing with primitve ways of discrimination, never being good enough to society because of my Moroccan/ Spanish background/ daughter of emigrant, struggling with self worth. Creatvity, music, writing and art has always been a thing to hold on too, a way to Express my heart and as an escapement. I started performing professionally, singing and rapping at the age of 17. Being part of hip hop world, a young girl in a man's world where I had to earn my place. Later on in life the loss of my mother (on mothers day), she died in my arms due to cancer it's been a big painful mark in my life. She past away on may 12th 2007. Weeks before she past away I gave up my career and dream to go live in NY and to pursue my music and acting career, instead I chose and felt I had to stay and take care of my mom. Soon after she died I got a heavy burnout and my anxiety disorder hit the roof. 3 months after that, (I was still living at home) my dad got a new girlfriend and she moved in, threw out all my mothers belongings, and my dad violently kicked me out on the streets after all I done for him and how I took care of my mom. I had no where to go, I was mentally and physically tired, still in shock, my heart was broken, mourning for my mothers death. I got homeless. I went from place to place, a life of insecurity ashamed to ask for help, I felt like I failed myself. I went from performing for the national TV, touring to being homeless. I wanted my career to succeed so badly but I had no more life in me at that point. At the prime of my life but circumstance changed everything. I never asked for help or mental support. Hiding from the world with anxiety taking the overhand, bills piled up and with a dark cloud over my head November 2011, I attempted suicide. It was laying there after midnight in my bedroom alone with all the pills that I had taken, it was all a matter of time. Than I saw a flash of my mother how she battled the horrible and painful cancer and she was still grateful, positive and strong. It reminded me to not quite and that I can do this! I managed to call a girl I knew, asked her to take me to the hospital. Between 2012 and half 2013 I rolled up my sleeves worked over hours and everything I earned through my music, art and acting career went straight to clearing my depths. I was proud of my self and it felt like a new beginning, eventhough anxiety was still a massive problem. June 2013 I met a guy that seemed really nice and loving. We had plans together but as time passed I noticed little temper here and there. So I decided to end the relationship. Shortly after that I found out I was pregnant. He wanted us to try together for the sake of the baby and wanted me to move in with him in Amsterdam. I gave him the benefit of the doubt and thought it was best to have my child grow up with his dad, as a family. I gave up my house and moved in. Things escalated shortly after that, his temper and narcissistic trades changed drastically it was unhealthy for me and the baby I was carrying. Domestic violence, while I was pregnant he would pull me by the leg so I would fall on the back of my head, sit on top of me and put his hand over my mouth. It was a nightmare. He would call the police and try to convince them that I was not sane. My son Elijah was born too early so we had to stay at the hospital. The day after my son was born, I'll never forget how his father said he was going to try everything to take my son away from me. I was not going to let that happen. My son was 6 months old when I packed up my car with only the important stuff for my son and I went to the police for help. Here I was, homeless again but this time with a baby. We kept moving from place to place, safe housings and so on. But I wasn't planning to quite, always reminded how strong my mom was. I could do it too! I had to start over a few times...in a new appartment in a dangerous neighborhood, besides my son's bed and I had nothin, slept on concrete floor for months. I was grateful for having a roof over our head and that was important. I applied for welfare so I can provide food and necessity for my son. But it's not want I wanted. Every morning I would start my day opening up my laptop and watching, researching all kinds of entrepreneurs telling their life stories and what it is that drives them. In the first months I worked hard on 3 business plans and raised my son. Ive applied the businesses plan's at the local social services and I got the green light from the municipality to start my business and to get financial livelihood support. In one year 2015 /2016 I picked up my music career and started performing again, I was on a extreme survival TV show surviving on a rapt without food and water for 5 days on the Caribbean sea, I performed for the Dutch Royal Royal family, I got a lead role acting and singing in a theath play and we toured for 2 years throughout the country. I've been raining my son alone with no help or support from anyone. But what I also love doing is coaching kids and juveniles for governmental prevention's projects. They need the love and guidance. Someone that will inspire and motivate them. I created creative methods to help, build trust and to broaden their perspectives and stimulating their hidden talents. I am truly so grateful to have build great friendships with these youngsters and to see them grow fruitfully throughout the years. I give seminars and inspirational speeches for future social and youth workers students at universities and colleges. Not until 2018 I finally sought help for my anxiety disorder. I was diagnosed with PTSD. I feel much better being able to talk about it and to have therapy. Nothing to be ashamed of and especially not to feel as if I have failed. I moved from te noisy apartment in the bad neighborhood August 2018 together with my son. I moved everything over by myself fromapartment to house. A quiet safe place that helps me recharge and to stay balanced as I cope and having better understanding of what PTSD is. Since I moved , it was the final new start in a new home, a new beginning with my son Elijah that is now 6 years, my everything, my joy, my little partner in crime. Honestly I wouldn't want to change anything and all the hardships I had to go through. Because of it 'I am, what I am'..inside out and I wear that proudly like timeless colorful fashion. ♡

It gives people from all walks of life a voice, not only a voice that echoes throughout the world to inspire others. But it also gives people an inner voice to echo within, to believe in yourself, to identify yourself, selflove, have peace with yourself, to forgive yourself, to grow within your self, to be grateful to be proud what you stand for. To wear your scars, your joy, hurts, dreams, adversities, your believes as timeless colorful fashion in - side - out.

Life has been a rollercoaster (Sixflags got nothing on me) learned to let go...and believe and to wear my scars, my joy, hurts, dreams, roots, identity, desires, adversities, my believes as timeless colorful fashion in - side - out. ♡ That's the foundation of what I want to share to inspire people from all walks of life ♡